So I thought I'd start things off for us with a new poem I'm working on that I'm actually submitting for a film project, as strange as that sounds. A friend of my is starting a film project about love, and so this poem explores my love of writing. I'm not sure if it's coming off as a little overly intense. I see what you think and then tell you what I was going for if I get any comments.
The Ink is in My Blood
The ink is in my veins,
thrumming through me.
A sweet, stabbing need
to bring fingers to paper,
build worlds with words.
The ink cloaks my brain.
A dark passion fog.
Twisting thoughts to new forms.
Mutating synapses to new alignments.
Corroded similes crumble
under new metaphors
In the frenzy of bringing
the thoughts to being,
my fingers are wet
with the ink,
with the blood
of my being.
My blood,
The ink.
When I give birth to it,
the ink runs down my thighs.
The poem has broken
out through the point on paper.
A delicate newborn,
it lies in twisting lines,
still wet and shining
with fresh ink,
My blood.
When the poem is pulled free,
and laid out on the white sheet,
We are no longer one,
its song no longer
streaming through me,
pulsing with the convulsions
of my heart.
To draw it back to me,
I lick its words up off the paper,
tongue the soft syllables
and exhale the whisper of its meaning.
The ink,
The blood,
Lie thick on my tongue.
This is lovely Emily - truly.I am very much interested in being part of this and will try to post something later tonight. I'm in a bit of a hectic place at the moment - launching an anthology I helped edit tomorrow and then getting ready to go to Europe for a month next week but in August - I will certainly come back here and see what's up ... hope this is still going on so I can pick up the thread ...
ReplyDeleteEmily, the thought and the process of birthing the poem is moving and captivating! The sensual imagery is effective - and phrases like tongue the soft syllables - I feel are evocative of more... did the poem come to you as an organic whole or have u reworked parts of this?
ReplyDeleteI was wondering if you wanted to impose a 7 line repeat form to it... but i do like it as it stands as well....
neha
Great draft, Emily. I agree that it comes across as "a little overly intense" but it's difficult to point out specific examples. I like the sound of "thrumming through me" and "corroded similes crumble". I love the image of the poem being pulled free and the wet newborn. And the last stanza is fantastic. I question the repetition of "my blood" and "the ink" so much.
ReplyDelete